Thursday, December 6, 2007

My Dog Don't Know It's Christmas

This is my first Christmas as a dog owner, and apparently, I'm supposed to get him a Christmas present. Multiple friends have expressed surprise that not only did I neglect to hang a stocking for my dog, but I don't plan to wrap any gifts for him either. Call me a scrooge, but he's just a dog! His only thought when he looks at the Christmas Tree is that he wishes he could pee on it - I highly doubt he's looking for a present.

Anyway, I heard a song on XM radio that made me realize I'm not alone in my thinking. I couldn't find a recording to link to, but here are the words:

My Dog Don't Know It's Christmas
by Scott Katz

My dog don't know when it's Christmas
Despite the gift-wrapped chew toys 'round the tree.
You got the dog-star up above, poodle skirts and puppy love,
But there ain't no canine Christianity.

He knows not to piddle on the carpet,
And he knows when he must go to the vet.
He understands a Milkbone and he comprehends a snow-cone,
Yeah, but Jesus is a concept he don't get.

My dog don't know when it’s Christmas.
How could any creature be so naive?
But despite his passivity, re: the nativity
If the lord was a shepherd, he'd believe.

Despite his proclivity to dis the nativity,
If the lord was a shepherd, he'd believe.

So, to all my friends and readers who lavish presents upon your pets at Christmas, I love you dearly and I say if you enjoy it, go right ahead and stuff your personalized dog stockings to the brim! Just make sure your dog doesn't tell my dog - I don't want him to get wise!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Get the beautiful dog a stocking with some dog chews this year, for God's sake. He won't pee on the tree.
And make sure it's a fake tree.

God doesn't want you to destroy his creations which grew for years only to vanish is a few weeks.