Thursday, November 15, 2007

Purple Women Count

Today’s post is in honor of the Purple Women Count Campaign, a blogging-blitz aimed at getting BlogHer and other women-centric websites to add a category for Women Without Children. The campaign is the brainchild of Teri Tith, founder of Purple Women & Friends, who got tired of getting the brush-off from the folks at BlogHer who insist that there just aren’t enough people interested in childfree issues to warrant its own category. I think that viewpoint is a bit shortsighted.

The number of blogs focused specifically on being childfree is relatively small – a Google search only turns up about 15 or so. BUT, I wouldn’t even begin to try to estimate the number of childfree women who are out there blogging on a different topic.

Take me for example. I wouldn’t necessarily call End of The Tunnel a childfree blog, but everything I do write about is colored (or should I say purpled) by my decision not to have kids. Conversely, if I did have a child, I’m sure my writing would take on a different slant. Any parent will tell you that having a child affects every aspect of your life – it makes perfect sense that choosing not to have one would have quite an impact as well.

So, when I’m looking for new blogs to read, I tend to prefer those written by women who don’t have children. I just can’t relate to mothers very well, especially when the topic is religion, politics, education, career…ANYTHING! It’s not that I only want to read blogs about being chidfree, and I certainly don’t have anything against mothers who blog. Really I’m just like everyone else – I want to read a blog from someone who’s a little more like me.

And that’s where sites like BlogHer are supposed to come in. They have a large blogroll separated by topic, which should help you find likeminded writers. But when there is no category for women without children, where does that leave people like me? Invisible.

Anyway, that’s my take on the issue. I hope this campaign will make a difference, and if you are childfree, please take the time to visit Purple Women & Friends today and check out some of the other bloggers who have weighed in on this issue. And if you’re one of my readers who could care less about childfree stuff, thanks for making it to the end of this post. To reward you, I’ll tell you a funny story:

We were able to get excellent tickets for the Clemson vs. Boston College football game this weekend – 30 yard line, lower deck. However, the dog thought they looked tasty, so he ate them. Ben was able to wrench the tickets out of his mouth, but unfortunately the tear-away stubs came off, and the dog swallowed them. Ben is furious. If we can’t get into the game, a slightly naughty greyhound may be in need of a good home.

UPDATE: I took the mangled ticket remains down to Clemson, and they printed new ones for me. Apparently Bowman isn't the only dog for whom football tickets are a choice snack, because the lady who helped me said that mine were the second set of dog-chomped tickets she'd replaced this month. Anyway, Ben has made up with the dog and all is well. Go Tigers!


Anonymous said...

Shelley - Thanks you so much for contributing this post on our childfree topic on your own blog. We are proud to have you as a Regular Contributor at Purple Women & Friends!

I think we have really struck on some common ground here on the issue of our invisibility within society. What to do? I really did not intend to vilify BlogHer, in fact, they are a very important force of women bloggers and I want to be included. I also think that we should band together on our own.

The big news is that I have approached the organizers of BlogHer's 2008 conference about having a panel of childfree women bloggers. They asked me for names. That's almost as good as a yes! It's time to come out of the closet ladies.

Angry Grrl said...


I'm another woman (and a Southerner too) who doesn't relate very well to the mothers out there. I even lost a decade-long friendship over it when my best friend at the time got pregnant and didn't get why I couldn't be as supportive as she wanted me to be... long, sad story, but ultimately we're just not friends anymore.

And like yours, my blog isn't solely about childfree things; rather, it's one of several topics I discuss.

Here's hoping all of us childfree female bloggers are a lot more visible now. ;)

GottabeMe said...

Amen, and I totally agree. I started a blog, and while it won't always be about being child free, the fact that I am child free influences almost every aspect of my life. I hope you don't mind that I linked to you, stop by and check it out!

Anonymous said...

It's a day to day thing. I think I am more comfortable today than ever before being able to say, "we don't have children". I don't have to explain or wait for a reaction. BUT I agree with blogger before, it is weird that it seems to take "so much space in your life" Maybe it's because having a child seems to take up most all the space in a parents life. Also, I happen to live in a rural area. Most of the women I know identify most with being a Mom over all else which is natural to do. Sometimes it leads to codependency which means the person feels like nothing without their kids. And that's just very annoying to be around. Not to mention unhealthy for the kids.

Anonymous said...

Southern and child free! It does get easier. Thanks for the posts. Found another great childfree blogger here: and thought I'd share.

Anonymous said...

Totally agree...much easier now, 4 years later. It was really great that BlogHer had me as the panel discussion leader at their conference, along with Laura Scott, one of my other contributors, who has authored her own book on "our topic" called "Two Is Enough". She has also produced a one-hour documentary by the same title!