Eeewwww....

You know something? We live in a crude world, and there's something disgusting lurking around every corner.

For example, tonight I am relaxing in my den, enjoying an episode of Wheel of Fortune. No worries of anything icky popping up there, right?

But then it's commercial time, and an ad comes on for Serenity pads. No big deal - people need these things, and the commercials are generally discreet. There is a voice pitching the product, and there's this graphic of a field with a big daisy in it. Pretty typical. But then I take a closer look, and I notice - the petals of the flower are made of adult diapers! Big, white pads that unfortunate adults have to pee in. Do the people who need these things not already know what they look like? Do we really need to try to make them cute?

This commercial ranks right up there with the girl who plugs the hole in her date's rowboat with a tampon, and the cartoon bear who takes a crap on a tree and then discusses how much toilet paper it's going to take to wipe up. Who takes in these gross images and then thinks, "Oh boy - I gotta run right out and get me some of that."

Unfortunately, I think this yuck-fest is going to get worse before it gets better. Today we're listening to a philosophical discussion on the nuances of feminine odor, tomorrow I'll see some actor actually applying his Preparation H.

Wrinkles

I always planned to “grow old gracefully.” Let the gray hair and wrinkles come as they may – I’d take it all in stride with good humor, and embrace whatever face looked back at me in the mirror. Aging wouldn’t even be an issue.

Well, a few months ago I noticed the tiniest beginnings of lines around my mouth. That discovery immediately led to a more critical facial inspection, which revealed slight traces of lines around my eyes too. You have to understand, no one else would probably be able to detect even the smallest change - we’re talking miniscule lines here. But as I stood there looking in the mirror and puzzling over how this could have happened, I was suddenly hit with a stunning revelation:

“HOLY CRAP! I am going to get WRINKLES!!!!”

Thoughts of growing old gracefully went out the window. I just wanted to go out and buy the best miracle cream I could find and take a bath in it. How could this be happening to me? I guess my philosophy was really more like, “If I grow old, I’ll do it gracefully.” I hadn’t accepted that the “if” was actually a “when.”

It didn’t take me long to calm down and return to rationality. But I was still a little bummed about the whole wrinkles thing, until this weekend.

I was watching a re-run of Extreme Makeover, where “ugly” people get major plastic surgery to correct what they consider to be their physical flaws. During her initial consultation, this woman told the plastic surgeon that she was looking forward to “never having wrinkles again.” However he was quick to correct her, explaining that wrinkles come from showing facial expression, and that they would eventually come back unless she never smiled or laughed again. That started me thinking.

My life has been filled with happiness. Yes, there have been plenty of sad and difficult times, but I have spent considerably more time laughing than crying. There’s not a day that goes by in which I don’t have multiple reasons to smile, and I am grateful for it. And if wrinkles are the price I pay, then so be it.

So I will go right on living, loving, laughing and smiling, allowing all the joys of life to be written across my face. And I hope that when I die, I’ll have too many wrinkles to count and will have earned every one of them.

Does a Christian Have a Choice?

Check out my latest post on Purple Women & Friends - I'm pretty excited about it!

No Labor For Me This Weekend!

You’ve probably already figured it out by now, but it’s Labor Day Weekend! Three days off, and every clothing store is having a sale – what could be better!

I’ve got a pretty big weekend planned – a football game tonight at the high school where my husband teaches, seeing my friend Corey Crowder in concert on Saturday, Home Group on Sunday, sleeping in on Monday morning instead of dragging myself to work, and finally, to cap it all off, the Clemson vs. Florida State game on Monday night! I’m so excited!

However, it dawned on me that I’m not quite sure why I’m celebrating. A quick trip to the Department of Labor website taught me that the General Secretary of the Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners, Peter McGuire, suggested the holiday in the late 1880’s as a way to honor those “who from rude nature have delved and carved all the grandeur we behold.” (Nice quote!)

So while I’m riding in my car, sitting under the stadium lights, enjoying amplified music, and watching ESPN on my flatscreen TV, I’ll think of all the production workers who turned technology into reality so I could have such a fun weekend. Thanks to all the Laborers of the world!

Being Constructive

Awhile back I was watching Larry King Live on CNN, and he was interviewing Duane Chapman, otherwise known as Dog the Bounty Hunter. The Dog and his family profess to be born-again Christians, and they have set themselves apart from others in their profession with their benevolent, “Christ-like” behavior toward their fugitives.

If you’ve ever seen their show, you know that the leather-clad, heavily tattooed, foul-mouthed Chapmans aren’t exactly poster-children for the Religious Right. Larry King was taking questions from viewers on this issue, and one asked if their prevalent use of four-letter words is really the best witness for Christ. The question obviously made Dog uncomfortable, and he said they were “working on it.” I watched a new episode earlier this week, and I didn’t see a bit of evidence to suggest that taming his tongue is anywhere near the top of Dog’s priorities.

One of the best parts of being a Christian is that God knows you are going to have parts of your life that aren’t exactly squeaky clean, but He loves and accepts you anyway. As the Apostle Paul said in I Corinthians 10:23, everything is permissible, just not necessarily constructive. God meets you where you are and changes you bit by bit – you don’t have to be perfect before you can have a relationship with Him. And that’s a good thing, since none of us are ever going to be perfect.

I wish that Dog had just manned up and said he wasn’t quite ready to give up the potty mouth yet. I wish he had owned up to the truth instead of skirting the issue by saying he was “working on it.”

If you know there’s an area of your life that’s not “constructive,” really examine how you feel about it. If you find you’re not ready to let it go, just be honest with yourself. Then, be honest with God and with other people. It may feel embarrassing or shameful, but you can’t expect to hold onto something you know is wrong and feel good while you do it.

If you are truly seeking God, you’ll be able to leave your unconstructive behavior behind when the time is right. Just don’t make it worse by being a liar or a hypocrite about it now.

Brevity

I'm a “get to the point” kind of person.

I try not to use a paragraph when a sentence will do, and I’ve never bought into the idea that the ability to pontificate on a given subject indicates intelligence. I often find myself wishing that people to whom I’m listening would stop beating around the bush and just say what they need to say.

This week I ran across a quote from Sophocles: “Much wisdom often goes with brevity of speech.” It brought to mind the political campaigning that’s already begun, and I had to laugh because if Sophocles is right, I’m not sure we have many wise candidates.

Anyway, Sophocles isn’t the only famous thinker who found less to be more where words are concerned. In Ecclesiastes 6:11, King Solomon said, “The more words, the less the meaning, and how does that profit anyone?” I get so frustrated when I have listened to someone talk for half an hour, and still have no idea what he or she actually said. Or worse, when the point is made in the first 5 minutes, but I have to keep sitting there as the person rambles on, rephrasing the message and adding trivial details. (Again, politics come to mind.)

Don’t get me wrong – if truly important or interesting information is being conveyed, I want every single detail. And I will talk for hours if the conversation is helping to build a relationship, encouraging someone, or developing knowledge or insight into my or someone else’s relationship with God. But otherwise, I’d just prefer to keep quiet.

Both Sophocles and King Solomon are renowned as two of the wisest men who ever lived. You know how I think they got that way? By taking their own advice and spending less time talking and more time listening and reflecting. They probably didn't talk much, but when they did, you can bet they really had something to say.

New Post at Purple Women and Friends

For those of you who are interested, I've got a new post up at Purple Women and Friends entitled "Fair is Fair."

Hopefully I'll have something new here soon too. I'm pretty busy at work, and we had a death in the family, so my schedule has been pretty packed.

Check back soon!